My story is Try Not To Kill Us All. It's about aliens, and trash, and an overworked senior chief.

For every chief who ever served on a ship that could have been better off without officers and for every executive officer who wished his sailors cared as much about keeping the ship clean as he did—this one’s for you.

Available now: https://www.amazon.com/Star-Destroyers-Tony-Daniel-ebook/dp/B079C3CH2L/​ 

Do you see that glorious cover? And that name on there three spots down?

I get to tell a story in Charles E. Gannon's Terran Republic universe!

The Kickstarter is already fully funded, so this anthology will be published. But it's not over yet, so you can still join.

Today I get to be the Featured Author for this project on Facebook. You can stop by and chat with me all day. Make sure to join the event so your comments will be posted. 

And go to the Kickstarter page itself to look at a bit of free fiction I've provided and see some of the other work Gannon and other writers have provided to encourage you to consider supporting the project.

LOST SIGNALS Kickstarter:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/778135764/lost-signals-of-the-terran-republic-caine-riordan  
 
LOST SIGNALS Featured Author Chats:
https://www.facebook.com/events/533797530289448/?active_tab=discussion

Clearly this is an alien spaceship...
​
The ship’s crew sampled homo sapiens during a previous pass through around three thousand years ago. We tasted too gamey. It didn’t seem likely that we’d become more marbled and deliciously sedentary in just a couple thousand years, so they merely made passive scans on the way by. 

The exec might look at the imagery later when they’re already too far past to turn around. If we’re lucky, he and the captain will decide to delete the whole mess of scan data and claim an untimely solar flare scrambled the equipment. 

But if they get too ethical about it, home command’ll be sending a larger harvest vessel. The captain, exec, and navigator from the survey ship will have been fired for cause because they didn’t pick up a dozen or so meat samples on their way through, but we might not feel so appreciative of our visitors' high standards while home command argues about whether 10% or 12% of the human population is the appropriate sustainable harvesting level.

Let us pray that the exec values his job over his integrity.

​Hi Friends!
 
I’ve been mostly inactive on social media for the last several months and expect that continue for the next several as well. The dreaded ‘life stuff’ has happened and when my energy is in short supply I spend it on writing story first and all the posts and tweets and status updates go to the back of the line.

​Somewhere on my hard drive there should exist a blog post draft I started after LibertyCon 2016 about what science fiction conventions are like and how to try them out if you’ve never been before. My data filing and document search skills have failed me. I can’t find it.

You know the story the Emperor Has No Clothes? The part I found most delightful about it was all the wonderful characters who invented descriptions of the clothing that wasn’t there. Some fashionista really should have been following the naked imperial around and taking notes on what the people of the empire considered to be the best of all possible outfits.

I propose a similar game that might be titled the Writer Has No Blog Post. Play or not as you like. The theme is The Joy of Science Fiction Conventions.

Please imagine I wrote up something witty and insightful. And if you’re a regular con goer, tell me what I said. And if you’ve never been but think you might like to try attending a convention someday, please tell everyone what questions the post answered. You might also reminisce about favorite conventions past or where you plan to go in the future.

For myself, I’m skipping the tell me what I said part. Because, well, er, I don’t remember what was in that draft or I’d just jot it down real quick and get back to the novel. But my all-time favorite convention was LosCon 2003, and it will probably never be displaced in my heart. This is not because other conventions are less than amazing, but because LosCon cheated so very, very exquisitely. I met Andy Presby there. And for conventions I’m looking forward to: in 2017, I get to go to MarsCon, MystiCon, and RavenCon.

I hope each of you have a wonderful time this month enjoying all the holidays and that 2017 turns out to be your best year yet.
 
-Joelle

There came a time when players of games young and old were known throughout the land to sit upon couches in basements without interaction with the outside world or sight of the sun.* Some objected, heaped scorn upon the gamers, and said, “Go outside and play!”
 
Niantic heard their cries.
 
It gave to the world Pokemon GO, a game both marvelous and unfinished, which drew the gamers blinking into the sunlight, and indeed, they went outside to play.**
 
Some gamers, seeking to capture the rarest of rare Pokemon, and be the best like no one ever was, walked miles beyond what their soft legs could bear. Limping, they cried out for mercy.
 
Niantic heard their cries.
 
It gave them battery drain that they might return home and rest while their phones recharged.*** And indeed they did, stretching out their tired legs on couches as they ordered battery packs and posted one star reviews online.
 
Well rested and armed with battery packs, gamers ventured forth again into the bright outside world. Some players lacked natural melanin protection and stayed too long in the sun-drenched places. Their complexions, formerly best described as pasty, turned to pink and even red. “The sun, it burns us!” they cried.****
 
Niantic heard their cries.
 
It gave them Servers Unavailable during daylight hours that they might have time to acquire sunscreen and learn the mysteries of its effective use. And indeed they did, though mostly they refreshed ispokemongodownornot.com and posted additional one star reviews.
 
Some gamers, longing to fill their Pokedex, were tempted beyond what they could bear by the possibility that Mewtwo lurked inside their litigious neighbors’ fenced backyards, and as they battled trespassing charges, they cried out to the developers.*****
 
Niantic, again, heard their cries.
 
It gave them no more Pokemon tracking capability. And indeed, the gamers no longer trespassed into restricted areas. But again, they did not thank Niantic. Crying out more than ever before, they complained Niantic is not listening.
 
But beware, for Niantic hears their cries.******
 
* As with many such things, what was known and what was true had little interrelation, but this dissonance failed to impact common perception.
 
** The ones making the original objections were not best pleased to discover gamers crowding the sidewalks along their dog walking routes, visiting historical sites, and filling up the parking spaces near the community green spaces, but it wasn’t Niantic’s fault they failed to be more specific in their request. Niantic is merciful but not divinely all knowing.
 
*** Some also, having sampled this “go outside” concept and found it wanting, spent hours building for themselves a game within the game where their own bots played for them from the comfort of their own homes.
 
**** In truth, not all players of pasty complexion channeled J.R.R. Tolkien’s character Smeagol when they voiced their complaints, but in sentiment, they quite agreed with him.
 
***** The litigious in nature also sued Niantic, but while the developers themselves are not divine, millions of dollars in daily in-game purchases are sufficient to acquire legendary strength legal assistance. 
 
****** New tracking is coming, they say. Battery saver has returned. Pokemon escape rates are, possibly, fixed. Additional warnings of a lawyerly nature have appeared. Also, minor text changes abound. But indeed, the gamers want all this and Mewtwo as well.^

^ Meanwhile, this gamer has a book to finish, a WorldCon to attend, some distractions to indulge and Niantic to frame for it.

As a survivor of too many hurricane-induced floods, the onset of Atlantic Hurricane Season next week sets my own personal threat level warning to orange. Traditionally, one is to pretend to live in a world devoid of natural disasters up until Jim Cantore books a flight to your town. At which point, one is to buy vast quantities of milk, eggs, and bread. Panicked people seem to prefer French toast above all other foods. I recommend a warm berry compote or genuine maple syrup to adorn your breakfasts in the weeks after the disaster warning has passed without incident.

For those few who might want to break with tradition and plan ahead, I present my lessons learned from hurricane disasters past:


(1) If you want to leave, go early. 
I live in an area with many bridges and tunnels, and city authorities sometimes order my little neighborhood evacuated. Even if I were to shelter in place, a minor storm can make the city’s main roads impassible by car. (Some of my neighbors use canoes and kayaks after the police cordon off the road.)
Traffic after an evacuation order is in place is about twice as bad as beach traffic on the first warm weekend of summer. A full tank of gas and a friend with a guest room can be all the disaster prep you need, but it’s hard to get out if you don’t leave early.


(2) Even if you might leave, prepare to stay.
A few cases of water and some granola bars can be awfully useful if work requirements prevent an early evacuation and the traffic piles up too much for you to be sure you could get where you’re going before the storm hits. A full propane tank for the grill or a bag of charcoal briquettes do a great job turning the meat in your freezer into a neighborhood BBQ after the power goes out. Sometimes the best hurricane parties are after the storm. Consider picking up a few limes and burger fixings while emptying the grocery store of bread and milk.
​

(3) Even if you intend to stay, be willing to leave.
While planning the hurricane party of the century, consider filling up the gas tank. Sometimes storms turn towards land instead of away. Sometimes they strengthen. While your heirs might appreciate the assorted fine beverages chilling in your ice-filled bathtub, that fast growing mold stormwater leaves behind is pretty disgusting and they'd probably rather you weren't dead. Also, if you must die, try not to be the Darwin award-winning type who stays behind after police ordered evacuation and gets rescue workers killed.


That is all. Have a pleasant 2016 Atlantic Hurricane Season. May your French toast be tasty and all your storms go out to sea.

I'm very happy to be a guest at RavenCon for their first year at the new location in Williamsburg, Virginia. The convention is April 29 to May 1, at the Doubletree by Hilton Williambsurg. The overflow hotel, Courtyard by Marriott Williamsburg, still has rooms available.

Please make time Saturday evening to stop by Baen Barfly Central to have a slice of cake and fine beverage celebrating the release of THE ROAD TO HELL. There will be free stuff, a few more book giveaways, and lots of cake. Did I mention cake? It's not a lie. Seriously, the cake is not a lie.

Here's my schedule.

Friday, April 29, 2016

• Opening Ceremonies - 7 PM - Large Auditorium
• The Magic of Collaboration - 8 PM - Room 8

Saturday, April 30, 2016

• The Future of Social Media - 9 AM - Room E
• The Final Frontier - 3 PM - Room E
• Baen Books Traveling Road Show - 4:30 PM - Harrison 1
• Launch Party - 9 PM to Whenever the Cake is Gone - Baen Barfly Central Room 121

Sunday, May 1, 2016

• Fan Knit-In - 10 AM - Room 2

I'll be signing The Road To Hell, my new Multiverse novel co-written with David Weber. The RavenCon Charity Auction will also have a complete set of the three Multiverse novels. I hope to see you there! 

-Joelle Presby

One of my favorite conventions has moved several hours closer to me this year. I'm delighted to be coming back as a guest and look forward to reconnecting with many friendly con goers.

Raven is a great con for parties, so Saturday night with the gracious support of the Baen Barflies, I'm hosting a launch party for THE ROAD TO HELL. There will be cake. There will be booze. There will be non-alcoholic beverages, free book-related stuff, and a raffle for some signed hardcovers. It'll be a good time.

RavenCon 2016
April 29 - May 1
DoubleTree by Hilton Williamsburg
50 Kingsmill Road
Williamsburg, VA 23185

I'll post more when I have my final schedule.